While it is fair to say that there are some women who are afraid of commitment, it seems that the phrase “he had commitment issues” is heard a lot more. Therefore we take a look at some of the reasons or excuses why men utter these words on a far too frequent basis.
Bad experience
When a relationship ends, people naturally get hurt, and although guys come across all macho most of the time, they do of course have a softer side to them, and get hurt too. It may not stop them from meeting other girls and dating, but the experience can leave them unwilling to want to commit, at least in the near future.
Oh the pressure
A lot of women put pressure on guys to commit to a relationship. They want to define what is ‘going on’ and aren’t keen on the blurred line between dating and a relationship. The pressure can make some guys concede, while others will buckle and come up with the excuse that they aren’t ready for a relationship.
Peter Pan syndrome
Many guys can’t bare the fact that they may have to grow up at some point and committing to a relationship means that they have to be mature and responsible. They have to give up their time and be selfless. By remaining single they can delay all this.
It scares the.... out of him
It’s a common fear of many men that a women will try to change them. Not only that, but they will be prevented from doing the things that they enjoy doing, like hanging out with their friends or watching the game. The thought of running ideas through a woman first to see if it’s ok before he can proceed will deter him. He doesn’t want to be trapped. In the words of William Wallace “they’ll never take our FREEDOM.”
A bit on the side
Either, you are the bit on the side and he is with you for the sex, or, he has someone else on the side and therefore doesn’t want to commit to either. It could be that he doesn’t know what or who he wants and therefore strings the two along. It’s easier for him than to make a decision, his friends give him the ‘player’ status, and commitment is futile.
It won’t work out
Divorce is on the rise and here in Malaysia it’s rising at an alarming rate. A guy may have the attitude of “what’s the point if it’s unlikely to work anyway?”. There is a lot if risk involved with commitment as you give yourself to the other person and the relationship, and therefore put a lot of energy into it. Many don’t want to risk that unless they are sure that it will work out.
Unable to provide
This may be the most valid of reasons, and it doesn’t just have to be in the financial sense. All of the above mean that they can't give you the emotional support that a relationship should provide, and hence can’t commit. Plus, no man wants his ego shattered when they come to the realisation that they can’t support or provide for their family.
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