Decoding the things men say

What they say: ‘She’s just a friend.’

Now, everyone has a right to be friends with whomever they like; even if it does mean that your man gets to be friends with that ex-supermodel, who has legs that go up to her ears. However, if you see your guy getting a little too friendly and you confront him about it, what does he say? If he says you’re acting crazy and that Miss Gorgeous is just a friend, he may be telling the truth. Yet a study from Wisconsin University found that more often than not, men found their female friends attractive. So if he flirts with his girl “friends”, beware.

What they say: ‘I just want you to be happy.’
If your guy says that he just wants you to be happy during a fight, the chances are he’s actually not entirely sure what you are talking about or what you want. This general, blanket phrase has been cleverly put together because even though he hasn’t a clue what you have been discussing for the past five hours, it sounds as if he is in complete agreement.


What they say: ‘I’ve got a really early meeting.’
Ouch! If your guy whips out this line after you’ve just had a grown-up sleepover at his house you know that you won’t be getting a call for another date any time soon. When a guy says that he’s got a really early meeting in the morning, what he actually means is that he wants you to stop spooning him so that he can stretch out and reclaim his bed.


What they say: ‘What tone of voice?’
This has got to be one of the most frustrating things men can say to us, isn’t it? You know that when they said ‘Fine’ what they actually meant was ‘For goodness sake, what else can I do for you? I’m not your slave’. However, when you ask them what they mean by that tone of voice, they’ll quickly act innocent. Proving otherwise is a near impossible task; it’s like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.


What they say: ‘Are you going to eat all of that?’
Weight is obviously a touchy subject, but when your guy asks if you’re going to eat the rest of your food, don’t assume he’s suggesting you’re eating too much. The chances are your guy is just really hungry, or incredibly jealous about what you have ordered.


What they say: ‘I love Amy, she’s so funny.’
Although you wanted your new boyfriend and your friends to get on, you never envisaged they’d get on this well. Yet, if your guy says he loves your friend Amy and that he thinks she’s the funniest person he’s ever met, don’t worry; he doesn’t want to elope with her, he just thinks she’s a laugh. End of.


What they say: ‘I need some space.’
We’ve all read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, so we all know that men are like elastic bands and that when they get too intimate they like to spring back and have a little “man-time”. However, if it has come to the point when your guy needs to tell you he needs some space, things have gotten bad and he’s one-step away from breaking up with you.


What they say: ‘My ex was hysterical.’
When you hear that his ex was a little crazy you may wheel out the balloons and champagne. Yet, be cautious. When your man says this about his previous girlfriend it may be a sign that he hurt and upset her so much that she ended up, quite rightly, showing him how furious she was by tipping the contents of his closet out the window onto the street.


What they say: ‘It was a joke.’
Guys love to wind you up and joke about with you. Yet if he keeps repeating something that isn’t really that funny, like ‘You won’t fit through the door soon’ or, ‘I love your hair, it’s so 90s. You look just like Demi Moore in Ghost’, then it may be time to confront him with what this all means. Joking may be his way of telling you that he hates something, but knows you are sensitive about it.


What they say: ‘I don’t want a relationship right now.’
When men fall in love they are consumed. Their friends, their sport and their bachelor lifestyle are all quickly pushed to one side and replaced by this new girl. Therefore if a guy says to you he doesn’t want a relationship right now, he’s lying. The truth is that he just isn’t that into you. If he liked you enough he’d change his whole world to make sure you were a part of it.